Six Weeks

6 Weeks

He is smiling with regularity now, & I am finally convinced he means it. He likes hearing Daddy speak in funny voices, & he finds it amusing when I pretend to gobble up his little hand. His fussy hour(s) begins around 9 p.m. & can last up to about 11 p.m. We inch ever closer to getting the hang of what it takes to soothe him, & when we do, it's an extraordinary feeling of empowerment. And if there was any question that this was our child, his constant need to eat should dispel that doubt.

*************************************************************

I didn't feel it immediately - that "instant" bond other mothers talk so passionately about. I loved him instantly, but he was still a stranger, like having a really picky guest in your home who you want desperately to please. The new-parent anxiety didn't help speed the bonding process along, exactly. I was too busy avoiding doing something reckless like, ohhh say, letting him pee on his face or suffocating him with his onesie. But now, when I utter the words "My son," the concept seems less foreign. I'm beginning to differentiate his cries, & now that he's smiling we have something to go on besides: upset/not upset. (As S puts it.) I recognize that he's a lot like me - he always has to be doing something & is not terribly content with just sitting in a chair. A coincidence that is simultaneously amusing and exhausting.And despite all the sleep deprivation, I am taking to heart the words of others: "Treasure these days. They go by quickly."