5 Months

5 Months

He is babbling now, and he's showing a slight interest in solid foods. I've given him vegetable sticks at which to gum. Celery, zucchini & carrot are winners. Cucumber? Not so much. He's extremely flirty, charming, smiles at anybody who gives him a second look. It's a little scary. ("Stop smiling at that stranger, dear.") He is ticklish under his neck & armpits, & his laugh is absolutely infectious. He's developed an ear-splitting aversion to long car rides. Apparently he did not get the memo that we live 40 miles away from everything. I've decided to cloth diaper. I'm tired of the waste, & I hate the way the disposables stick to his little "bits" in this heat. Would YOU want to wear plastic underwear? I think not.
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The biggest lesson I've gained this past month is learning to trust him. I don't worry so much if his naps are too short or he's nursing too much. He knows when he's tired, & he knows what he needs when he's uncomfortable. I know that he'll grow out of or move past any new picadillo or demand. I believe that he'll meet his milestones and make us proud at whatever point he is ready to meet them. I trust that he will be strong, & will embrace his independence when the time is appropriate.

So after months of battling his less-than-desirable sleep habits, his inability to stay asleep after being put down for the night and his temper tantrums during the bedtime ritual (bath, music, massage, nurse - this kid has no idea how good he's got it.) - we've decided to put him back in bed with us. Yes, he wakes me frequently throughout the night to nurse, but I don't have to get out of bed, & he falls right back to sleep when he's through. Yes, I go to bed at 8 p.m. every night, but heck, I really ought to be getting as much sleep as I can wrangle anyway.

And yes, any semblance of time I had to myself is a distant memory.

He's with me day & night, either fastened to me or sleeping next to me, at the office or at home, during errands or meetings with friends. Do I feel crowded? Sometimes. But whenever I begin to get antsy I remember this:

My sleep deprivation, backaches & dwindling sense of presentable appearances are just temporary ... just like this time when he is small enough to be cradled in the crook of my arm. Compared to the rest of his life, this time is brief.